Andy's Blog

I want to write something.  I’ve been promising a few people that I will write something.  It’s not that I don’t want to put proverbial pen-to-paper, it’s just that although the desire is there – the words are not.

It is HUGELY frustrating and more than a little worrying.  There are things afoot which could be the cause of this frustrating blankness but I am not entirely sure that this is, or I fervently hope it’s not,  the root cause.

There’s been enough happening in the last few months that deserve a mention; Black belts, technology, Cancer, garage dojo, work, children growing up and the usual idiocy of me interacting with my peers.

Let’s face it, I am not actually that good enough to suffer from the fabled “Writers block”.  Stupidity? Yes.  Idiocy?  Almost certainly and admitted to on a daily basis.

There was a new years resolution mulling around the head, although not verbalised, of putting at least one posting on here per week to drive the creative juices…. but the juices are dry :¬\

I shall try, I really really will try, however should you see me any time soon, please feel free to see whether a kick up the proverbials will help jumpstart this whole process off!  It can’t hurt…

…well actually it can, but you know what I mean.

Yesterday, Sunday, was a mixed day for me, flicking between feeling sick to my stomach, angry at chances lost, quiet, melancholic, happy for others, and more darkly somewhat self-pitying.

…and I hate myself for that.

I’ve been reading Gichin Funakoshi’s books lately; namely ‘The essence of karate’ and ‘The twenty guiding principles of karate’ and have found myself wanting.  I think I’ve been so focused, recently, on the next grade that I’ve forgotten what it entails.

The colour of your belt is not a right based on how long you’ve been practising the art, but the culmination and growth of understanding of the principles underpinning it.  This has been proved by a colleague who has just reached that next level and his karate, which is far better than mine, proves the point.

Time is not the measure, understanding and application is.

I think it’s time to get back to basics for me.  This isn’t a throwing-dummies-out-the-proverbial-pram moment, the karate training will go on.  However I think I need to stop chasing the next belt for the next few years and practise on becoming a black belt rather than just wearing one.

Sometimes having the wind taken from your sails, metaphorically at least, is the best thing if not a little hard on you at the time…. time, at least, will tell if that’s true or not.

Well 2011 has kicked off and as usual a bunch of vague promises have been made to myself as to how I will better myself.  These boil down to pretty much the same resolutions I had last year, the year before, and I’m fairly sure a few more years before that.

These being;

• Get better at Karate
• Get Fit/Slim

Very possibly one year I will acheive either, or being the eternal optimist that I am, both of them!

The ‘Get better at Karate” started off this Tuesday just gone with me huffing-and-puffing around at Senior Class and desperately trying to remember my chudan tsuki from my mawashi geri, after an extended Christmas break, so we are off to a flying start there!

I of course, for the second of those resolutions, am joining millionsof others in the thoroughly unenviable and unenjoyable diet phase of the year, full of all sorts of good intentions;  I shall not yield to chocolate treats, biccies or any food based produce not on the “You can eat that” list.  …and it’s an eye watering short list!

However, and it’s a HUGE “however” of biblical proportions, with a nice dusting of hundred-and-thousands of “however” on top and a rather fetching “however” themed double-whipped cream in the middle… does there really need to be that many McDonalds drive-thru’s between home and Birmingham?!?

I mean, really, I can’t remember “resisting temptation” being on my list of Resolutions listed above?!

“Most people would like to be delivered from temptation, but would also like it to keep in touch”
–Robert Orben

As is usual for this time of year I have drunk and eaten far too much.  Obviously it’s everybody else’s fault though, I mean if they feel the need to provide me with a quarter ton of confectionery delights then it’s only polite to consume them.

Of course the descent into consumption hell means a heck of a climb back out.. and this year, if all goes well, is an important one and one I need to be at my top form for.

That's me that is

So the coming New Years bash will be something of a blow-out as I plan to drop a fair number of kilos and hit the weights in an aggressive manner come 2011, or at least that’s the plan.

So until then, I bid you a very Happy New Year / Blianadh Bha Ur.

Meh, you know what?  I had sat down with the absolute intention to try and list some resolutions for this year, but after faffing about without typing anything at the keyboard have come to the realisation that I really can’t be bothered to set any.  This is not actually 100% true, I do have some goals that I have set for myself, but these are the same I always have;

• Get better at Karate (at least one grade better this year)
• Get fit (also interpret that as ‘slim’)

But that’s about it.  I also can’t be much bothered to review last years, apart from; I did achieve the two belts, but didn’t get fit.

Ever so slightly uninspired today.  However the cartoon below did brighten the day somewhat…

A split lip, loud ringing in the ears, seeing double for a while, some very sore ribs and a wonderful sense of achievement… all the ingredients of a successful grading!

It would seem I was a little premature in my moping last week and needn’t have worried quite as much as I did.  Yep, this does mean that I have actually completed at least one of my new years resolutions and graded two belts this year!

It probably seems a strange state of affairs, especially when seen by those who don’t do martial arts, that progress and a sense of achievement is only gained after a beating.. and let’s be clear, I was battered senseless last night, but it’s the way in which you pick yourself up and keep going forward that differentiates between a white belt and a black belt.  Or at least that’s what Sensei says as he delivers another blow!

The other differentiator is having a group of friends behind you, cheering you on, and picking you up when you do hit a low point.  Special thanks to Libby, Sarah and Ed, who always seem to make that little extra effort to gee you up and tell you, when required, to stop being an arse (not that Libby would ever use the “a” word… Sarah on the other hand would probably use something stronger and involve a back-fist to the stomach somewhere in the conversation… but you get the picture).

As Epicurus once noted;

“It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.”

Spring has finally sprung, at least for a little while, here in Northampton.  To make the most of the sun actually being up in the sky *and* warm, I decided to forgo the usual swim at lunchtime and instead go for a long slow walk along the River Nene.

Shades on, jacket off, shirt sleeves rolled up, iPhone cranked up listening to Hoobestank, best foot forward and don’t stop until either the music runs out or I get somewhere I don’t recognise.  It’s a good strategy, although you have to make sure your chain of command isn’t around to question the hour of your return… it is called a ‘lunch hour’ for a reason… apparently.

The walk along the river does give time to look back, review and plan ahead.  A kind of mental spring cleaning.  I think it’s certainly time to step back from those things that are causing pain, as they have already done, and stop stalking ideals.

The resolutions are going fairly well too, with the following updates;

Get Fit
Apart from a small period of time with the bust finger, I have managed to get to the gym on a fairly regular basis so far.  Weights in the morning, swimming during the lunch break.

Thankfully my weight has actually started dropping and I am now under the 80kg mark!  The unfortunate side affect of this is trousers that now have a habit of migrating South, which is not clever when you have your hands full at the time.

Two Belts
I am sooo close to my next belt I can almost taste it, however I still need to sort out some stuff before I get the elusive strip of coloured fabric.  Somewhat frustrating, probably as much to my Sensei as it is to me!

Get Offline
My usage of MSN and facebook, very recently, has dropped to very minimal levels.  Some of this is due to circumstance, but I took it as an opportunity; every silver lining has a cloud… or words to that effect. 

Looking forward to the days getting a little longer so I can start getting the mountain bike out and around the Country Park, in the evenings, with some mates.  Definite spring developing in the step, even if it is in the wake of a winter in metaphorical terms as well as seasonal.

Tis the first full working week of 2009, and all is quiet when I finally step out into the new years morn’ at 6.30am and crunch into the first settled snow of the year!  It’s hard to dispel the childlike delight when you see the winter wonderland spread out in front of you.. or at least it is for me; I am still a kid at heart trapped in a big gangly body.

I even managed to chuck my first snowball of the year!  I don’t think my mate expected the snowball to come flying over the 6ft fence, let alone at that time of the morning, or even saw from whence it came.. but the cursed whimper as it went down the back of his neck was most satisfying

Resolution Watch:  The ‘Get Fit’ resolution is still on track, hence the being up and out at 6.30am this morning and have managed to get to the Gym on alternate days as planned, and swimming every lunchtime.  So far, so good!

The ‘Two Belts’ resolution doesn’t really kick off until Tuesday when the Senior Karate classes start back up, but I am already in line for a couple of beatings from fellow Sensei’s.. Not entirely sure that’s gonna help with the resolution.

Unfortunately the ‘Get Offline’ isn’t going too well, am still online far more than I should be and have also started twittering – so that’s not a good sign.  I am trying to stay off MSN a little more than usual and not post so many facebook updates, but it’s *soooo* hard!  A geek’s addiction is never appreciated.

I was thinking of adding another resolution to the already long list, that of ‘Stop being so damn shy!’.  Unfortunately this is one trait I have had for the longest time, and is one of my bigger burdens (amongst many other competing burdens).

The online ’me’ is a lot more confident than the physical ‘me’, which can sometimes make for fractured conversations and a lack of eye contact.  Unfortunately some people read that the wrong way and think me stand-off’ish.  I think the online ‘me’ is the more truthful version, I just need to work on bringing that out into the real world a lot more often!

Edit: For some reason I have the song “Reason’s to be cheerful, Part 3″ by Ian Drury and the Blockheads running around my head as I write the shyness section.. I think that’s a good sign :-/

As is traditional at this time of year it is time to start making vague promises about how you are going to approach the new year and ‘improve’ yourself.  In my defense I have already started on a number of these, but in true new year resolution stylee it’ll be interesting to see which ones last past a couple of weeks.

So I present the following, not yet fully thought out, resolutions;

Get Fit
Time to build up some upper body strength and finally develop a muscle, somewhere… anywhere will do! 

The membership of Virgin Active is already a few weeks old and things are looking OK so far; swimming nearly every day, and I have gotten over my initial embarrassment of only being able to weight lift the equivalent of the membership card above my head :/

Two Belts
Not entirely sure if this is possible, but gonna aim for two karate belts higher than I am currently…  Everyone needs a stretch goal!

Get Offline
Time to get offline a little more and give people a rest from my omni-presence on the Internet.  Not a full retreat from the series-of-tubes, no more train wrecks hopefully this year, just a lessening of the addiction

This is also connected to…

Get Out
Apparently there’s something called ‘life’ out there and some of my friends actually exist out there in a physical sense!  So methinks it may be time to get out and have a few drinks with friends, partake of life, stop the ‘stalking’ element and get a grip..

Hopefully getting out on the bike a lot more will help with this, which I find is helping clearing out the ‘ol cobwebs and gives me a great bit of personal time even for the short period of time I do get out there.

So there you go, a set of vague’ish promises that may die an inglorious death before January even ends!  As ever, you will be the judge..