Andy's Blog

Well apparently my last post was a “little too much information” for some people, and I have the sore ear to prove this, although I think it still serves as a good reference point for all budding future male karate do practitioners… go figure!

That apart I have the uncomfortable feeling that I really haven’t moved any further forward from where I was a few weeks back, I may have even moved backwards on a few items, which is a buggarage and all of which is making me even less fun company to be with than usual.

Introspection is all well and good for a hormone overdosed teenager, who feels the whole world is against them, but for a forty *cough* year old it can be a little ridiculous, but here we are.  Turn up, do what’s expected of you; smile, laugh, practise, teach, drink, chat …. leave quietly.   All without actually being there in mind or spirit.

I am missing not having a motorbike at the moment, taking very long, very fast rides to nowhere.  In my mispent youthdom, when in the same type of mood (when it wasn’t a ridiculous age to be as introspective) this was my favourite form of escape… at least for a little while.

Now I have a blog, a large music collection and a hidy-hole where I can be anti-social to my heart’s content.  I think that’s progress?

……also I do worry that Creed, 3 Doors Down, Daughtry, Theory Of A Deadman, Seether and Stone Sour are not the sort of tunes to help my teenage regression… but DAMN! There’s some damn fine lyrics in there and is at least helping me to figure out some future blog post titles.

I am sat somewhere in the Toledo countryside with a killer view, a sunburnt head, arms which I am trying to convince myself are going a nice shade of oaken brown, the ubiquitous iphone playing random tracks, the bikes parked close by and the bustle of mi compadres finishing off their meal and starting to chill.

The complete lack of light around means that we have an unimpeded view of the stars above, which makes for a heck of a view whilst supping on the cold cans of beer that have magically appeared from somewhere.  Trying to decide whether to get under canvas tonight or just stay out in the open; Neither option seems to deter the mosquitoes from using all of us as snacking boards, at least outside is a wee bit cooler (temperature is apparently about 26c tonight!).

Tomorrow we’ll see how far we get on the bikes; there’s no particular route or plan, we just point ourselves in a random direction and see what’s around the next corner.  Probably not the most efficient way of getting from A to B, but it’s a damn site more pleasant and is loads more fun when it’s time to figure out where we are – the shrugs of “I dunno, does it matter?” makes for a more interesting holiday.

As for tonight, somebody is moaning “what are these?” as they scratch at the itchy, red mosquito bites that are starting to appear on all of us.

“Love bites?” comes an unhelpful reply.

“It certainly does” floats in from the dark somewhere.

…and suddenly the holiday is getting noticeably shorter and “normality” closer.

I am not sure if it’s either my mood attaching particular meanings to tracks, or the album just connecting with my particular mood; but whichever way it is I am finding that Nickelback’s “All The Right Reasons” is hitting all the right spots for me personally.

The last few weeks have been a bit up and down and, as suggested within previous posts, some realisations bringing a more ‘calm’ me; Why worry about something over which you have no control?

This album hasn’t been off my iPhone for a few weeks or more, usually at a ridiculously loud volume, and particular tracks ‘seeming’ to chart my mood at a particular time over those weeks.  These being, in chronological order;

• Far away
• Next contestant
• Photograph
• Animals

There is always a danger of reading too much into this selection and not understanding the context into which these fit… but, and I have to admit to not understanding the *actual* meaning behind some of the songs, I think, as most people do, I just keyed on a particular sentiment or verse and attached my own feeling to it and made it make sense to my own situation.

That said, my current mood music “Animals” is just a pure grin-like-an-idiot, wind the amp upto 11 and do the same on my new plaything;  A Kawasaki ZX-6R!

600cc’s of diablo black fun, with a top speed of 168mph, 0-60mph in less time than it takes to blink (or hit the back of the car in front) and me sat on it grinning inside the helmet to match the grinning demon’s face painted on the outside.  I am one VERY happy troozers!

So if you see me wandering around with the earphones in, you’ll know what I’m listening to, and if you don’t see me – I’m the screaming black demon that just whizzed by..

These past few days have not been the best, by a long shot, that I have had and consequently I have been either been moping around or in a particularly foul mood.  Having the mp3 player flick between Alicia’s Attic and Iron Maiden can be disconcerting to people who happen to listen in (I must turn down the volume)!

However after yet another long night staring up at the ceiling, this time with a generous amount of Gaymers Cider to help the ol’ brain cells, I have decided that I should stop worrying about those thing that I can no longer control.  I have also stopped worrying about the consequences of my conversations with people too; they are going to be upset/happy/angry/bewildered/running-to-the-hills whichever way I decide to roll things – so why bother playing it any other way than straight?

So from today, or last night if you wish to be pedantic, I am just going to play along with the cards that I have been dealt with and stop trying to change things that obviously can’t or won’t be changed.  So, to those people I have chatted to recently and who have decided “this is too much now”; I understand and thankyou for all the chats, they have helped me tremendously and I wish you well for the future – and to those still sticking around.. the maudling posts have now stopped!

Consequently the mood today is: Good.

Of course this is helped, a HUGE amount, by the fact that my mate has decided I need to blow some cobwebs out, at insane speeds, and let me have use of his bike this lunchtime!

mp3 player filled with classic Bon Jovi tracks, raybans that fit in the helmet found, and attitude set appropriately. If you wonder what that black blur that just passed you was….