Andy's Blog

I’ve never been much of a Lothario, I know that’s hard to believe, or excited much intense reaction from women I am acquainted with, however the gasped “OH GOD!” that I elicited from my female colleague, in the middle of a crowded Costa Coffee, was deeply satisfying.

The fact that there was another female colleague to join in the fun was a bonus, as the “Oh my God!” ‘s were repeated and the scrutiny of naked forms took an intense turn.  A disturbingly intense form.  Realising that she was trying to explore the experience more was both surprising and… well… futile.

There was no more to give.

The ‘post experience’ detailing of underwear, various coloured rabbits and admittance of palpations I will gloss as minor detail.

I, of course, will be battered into a bloody mess for posting this little blogette, even though the guilty have remained nameless, and the fact that this entirely true account of what transpired has enough detail left out to make it sound *SO* much more than what it was… although what it was would, and I jest ye not, leave you with the desire to brillo-pad your eyeballs from the experience!

…and with that, frankly detail light but teasing post, I bid you goodnight ;¬)

Well apparently my last post was a “little too much information” for some people, and I have the sore ear to prove this, although I think it still serves as a good reference point for all budding future male karate do practitioners… go figure!

That apart I have the uncomfortable feeling that I really haven’t moved any further forward from where I was a few weeks back, I may have even moved backwards on a few items, which is a buggarage and all of which is making me even less fun company to be with than usual.

Introspection is all well and good for a hormone overdosed teenager, who feels the whole world is against them, but for a forty *cough* year old it can be a little ridiculous, but here we are.  Turn up, do what’s expected of you; smile, laugh, practise, teach, drink, chat …. leave quietly.   All without actually being there in mind or spirit.

I am missing not having a motorbike at the moment, taking very long, very fast rides to nowhere.  In my mispent youthdom, when in the same type of mood (when it wasn’t a ridiculous age to be as introspective) this was my favourite form of escape… at least for a little while.

Now I have a blog, a large music collection and a hidy-hole where I can be anti-social to my heart’s content.  I think that’s progress?

……also I do worry that Creed, 3 Doors Down, Daughtry, Theory Of A Deadman, Seether and Stone Sour are not the sort of tunes to help my teenage regression… but DAMN! There’s some damn fine lyrics in there and is at least helping me to figure out some future blog post titles.

Goddamit, one post at the beginning of this month and I am now only just starting to think of another post at the arse end of the month.  Well that’s not entirely true, there was a post in progress somewhere near the middle which never saw the light of day for various reasons; the primary being it was rubbish.

Of course I still can’t think of anything to write although a lots gone on;

• The chance to see, chat, laugh, drink and celebrate with Parents, Brothers, Sisters, Nephews, Nieces, Cousins, even the ever-itchy footed one, Aunts and Uncles down in Andover for the wedding of my cousin Josie.
• Round two of the GKR Inter-Dojo Drinkie-Poo’s, with its tagline of “be there or be sober!”
• Sun, sun and yet more sun.  Seriously it’s been sunny here!
• Hospital visits and probes.
• ….and probably a few more things that I can’t remember right at this moment.  Maybe I should write these things down?

For some reason, and it was badly written in the unpublished post, I still feel slightly “empty” this month.  The feeling that something is slightly out of your reach and no matter how much you strive for it, it is just that wee bit quicker than what you are.  It’s not always something that tangible either.

The unpublished post was titled “Well I wish I was…” which was a slightly ironic title based on a mucky song that my dad had on a vinyl record back when I was a young whipper-snapper.  The song’s a bit whimsical and British sea-side postcard humour’ish, but the sentiment was what stuck.  I’m not going to attempt to re-iterate what was in there as I couldn’t finish that one, and I want to at least get something posted before the end of this month!

Not entirely sure there’s a point to this post, but I shall attempt to bring my head back to the here-and-now and focus on some personal milestones that are coming up far quicker than I can entirely grasp.  May and June *could* be momentous times in my development and I need to get my shite together, as a friend once eloquently put it.

I can’t help who I am, but I can do something about what I want to be…. maybe.

Laters…

You know, in the midst of a mountain of things to worry about; lumps re-appearing, lumps being gauged out, ritual draining of blood, tiredness, soreness and wondering what the local quack will say when next you see them…  it’s the stupid little things that can surprisingly pick you up.

She beats me mercilessly around the dojo whenever the opportunity arises, uses parts of my body for punching and kicking practise, frequently uses a sly little put down to pop any form of self delusion I pamper myself with and more often than not can see through the mountain of bullshit I throw up in front of me to obfuscate the mountain of worry that’s bringing me down;

…Missing your skirt and legs :’( x

It’s a stupid little text message, done fairly late in the evening, and I am fairly sure has a certain amount of alcohol fuelling it… but despite all of that the day seems a little less of a downer already

Thanks for that :’)
xxx

Beer, pizza, mindless violence, hyper-active kids, cider, karate, mad dashes across Northamptonshire, troubleshooting wireless access points, kung-fu in a film with karate in the title, pill popping, weak-ass shower switching between nut-shrivellingly-cold and skin-searingly-hot, missing a birthday party, talking-about-love-n-life, kiddies roller disco party, tea, more tea, COFFEE, fighting, laughing, Iron Maiden, bruises, yoda, young love, old friends, full english breakfast, kids up till 3am, Jackie Chan overload, grading, teasing, expectations, throwing up, winding down, blogging, snoozing…

How was your weekend?

However one thing that has been a constant throughout is the joy at teaching a group of awesome people karate, especially seeing them grow in skill and confidence, as well as progressing through their belts.

To make an outstanding dojo doesn’t just require a good Sensei, not that I class myself anything other than OK, but also an outstanding bunch of people who give both 100% of themselves and their characters to make the dojo a friendly place to train in.. and I have the pleasure of having such students *and* Sempai’s.

There are parts of this year I will try and forget pretty quickly, and I hope will not haunt me next year, however the absolute blast I have had teaching at both Corby and Irthlingborough is not one of those.

The last karate classes taught for 2010 have just been completed and not a bigger laugh could be had.  To any students reading this; Guys, it has been an ABSOLUTE pleasure teaching you and I look forward to 2011 …I will also always have this picture which makes me laugh insanely *every* time I look at it (click on it for a larger version)!

I’ve had enough of being an adult for the moment, so I am sat down with The Complete Collection of Bill Watterson’s excellent Calvin & Hobbes comic strips.  There are worse ways to develop an ethos on which to live your life, but no better way to just chill at the end of a long day.

I’ve been reading these for the past few days, and have even plagiarised some of their more memorable quotes, which seems to have been taken rather more literally than I had originally anticipated.  Ah well, you can’t always help what others decide what you’re all about.

So I’ll continue to be the quiet one in the corner, to be the idiot on the internet, to make sure I always go “Oof” at the right time, to be the pain in the ass when your room begins to fester, to be the geek who’ll fix your PC, to smile at the pants, to step aside without complaint… but more importantly, and outside of your conception, the big kid I’ve always been on the inside.

As the Chris Antonak quote goes; “Aging is mandatory, maturity is optional.”

There’s a mental image running around my head that would speak far more volumes than any number of words could convey in how things are at the moment.  Sometimes, and only sometimes, words are easy

…but not enough.. or way too much.

I’ve spoken before about how a song, a snippet of lyrics taken out of context, an image, or some other medium, provide a far more accurate and personal reflection of self at a point in time.

I won’t try and put into words what the mental image is, inoffensive as it is, as that seems counter intuitive. Maybe later, when I have some personal time, I will search for something that matches it on the big, bad, t’interweb… or, god forbid, put my artistic abilities to the test and actually translate from mental image to physical medium.

Until then I’ll share one of the ‘lyrics out of context’, that I mentioned earlier.  It’s from a song by Madness and perversely it’s probably the one bit that makes the song sound darker than it’s actual intent – which is exactly the opposite;

Standing up in the falling down
In so much rain I could almost drown.

If I ever do manage to scribble the image down I’ll make sure to add it to the blog… maybe.  However now seems a perfect time to plug in some headphones, hit ‘random’ on the playlist, and see if I can either create some new audible monuments or just lose self in the moment.

…not a unique sentiment at the moment!

Another night out doing karate, another bloggable post about conversations had outside afterwards, and some before we’d even left the hall!

Now I’ve sat here trying to put into words the double-entendre’s, shocking  invites and phallic’ising of an innocent wireless card.. but, frankly, even I can’t put *THAT* into words, so I won’t

Some things, as the title suggests, are just better left unsaid.

“Someday” indeed..