Andy's Blog

There is a certain assumption when using a simple technology like the telephone that what you communicate from one end will be repeated in the same manner on the other end.  You can be fairly sure that when you speak down the phone the recipient isn’t going to be hearing Donald Duck or Popeye like vocal inflections making lewd comments

….Unless, of course, that’s your particular “thang” – but let’s not go there… well at least not in public… call me… later…

The problem is that phones are no longer a “simple technology”, especially the mobile ones, they are made by a variety of different manufacturers with all kinds of whizz-bangery wonderfulness that you can now do with them.  I don’t know about you, but my phone is more of a portable internet device that, sometimes, does voice as well.

We just kinda assume that they’ll still function like our old phone though; what you speak or write on your side will be reproduced faithfully on the other side… Uuuuunfortunately it t’aint always so.  One phone’s nice little cute smilies aren’t quite the same on another manufacturers phone.

The resultant confusion can make for some very interesting conversations though, and very possibly a surprising visit from someone who’s just gotten a very wrong idea.  That is of course if the recipient tends to see the risqué version of a particular textual rendering… which is pretty much all of those with an extra Y chromosome in their particular DNA strand.  So please, dear female reader, please remember to be careful out there.

Don’t be too surprised if you text this , from a Blackberry, to a male of the species, who doesn’t own a Blackberry, when you receive the following…

8====D

I vaguely remember a school lesson on ancient mythology where one of the mythological creatures was born with the knowledge of the manner and date of its own death.  Now for the life of me, and despite some very weird google results, I can’t remember which creature this was.

Leave a comment in here if you know…. PLEASE!

What would you do if one day you were presented with the same knowledge?  Not necessarily the manner, although this could be the case, but certainly the date… or as close as dammit.  How would you live your life differently, if at all, if you were presented with your own personal “Use by” sticker…?  Where you’d stick it is another post altogether! Continue reading

I’ve never been much of a Lothario, I know that’s hard to believe, or excited much intense reaction from women I am acquainted with, however the gasped “OH GOD!” that I elicited from my female colleague, in the middle of a crowded Costa Coffee, was deeply satisfying.

The fact that there was another female colleague to join in the fun was a bonus, as the “Oh my God!” ‘s were repeated and the scrutiny of naked forms took an intense turn.  A disturbingly intense form.  Realising that she was trying to explore the experience more was both surprising and… well… futile.

There was no more to give.

The ‘post experience’ detailing of underwear, various coloured rabbits and admittance of palpations I will gloss as minor detail.

I, of course, will be battered into a bloody mess for posting this little blogette, even though the guilty have remained nameless, and the fact that this entirely true account of what transpired has enough detail left out to make it sound *SO* much more than what it was… although what it was would, and I jest ye not, leave you with the desire to brillo-pad your eyeballs from the experience!

…and with that, frankly detail light but teasing post, I bid you goodnight ;¬)