A split lip, loud ringing in the ears, seeing double for a while, some very sore ribs and a wonderful sense of achievement… all the ingredients of a successful grading!
It would seem I was a little premature in my moping last week and needn’t have worried quite as much as I did. Yep, this does mean that I have actually completed at least one of my new years resolutions and graded two belts this year!
It probably seems a strange state of affairs, especially when seen by those who don’t do martial arts, that progress and a sense of achievement is only gained after a beating.. and let’s be clear, I was battered senseless last night, but it’s the way in which you pick yourself up and keep going forward that differentiates between a white belt and a black belt. Or at least that’s what Sensei says as he delivers another blow!
The other differentiator is having a group of friends behind you, cheering you on, and picking you up when you do hit a low point. Special thanks to Libby, Sarah and Ed, who always seem to make that little extra effort to gee you up and tell you, when required, to stop being an arse (not that Libby would ever use the “a” word… Sarah on the other hand would probably use something stronger and involve a back-fist to the stomach somewhere in the conversation… but you get the picture).
As Epicurus once noted;
“It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us.”
In a particularly low point at the moment, so have decided to wallow in some self pity and retrospective angst. I think I’m turning into a Goth, or worse, my sister when she was a teenager! (..that particular joke will have some severe repercussions).
My karate, as with other things, has stalled. Despite putting in what I feel is 100%, the execution seems to fall far short of the expected standard and the appearance of going backwards more than forwards is somewhat disheartening.
Maybe it’s just a recurrence of what a good friend once called “Blue belt blues”.
T’would seem my old managers favourite dictum, muttered every pay and bonus review time, has come back to haunt; “Remember, Andy, that 100% of nothing is still nothing”.
Wallowing, angst and other inglorious forms of self pity will of course be accompanied by some very loud music, in the Marilyn Mansun and Iron Maiden flavours methinks, and occassionally interspersed with some comedy genius.
Trying to make decisions whilst listening to a late ’70s punk band’s only number one track is not the cleverest thing to do. It’s certainly not providing any answers, only verbalising the question in a rather more tuneful way… I am beginning to think I am looking for answers in all the wrong places!
Methinks I will need to seek some guidance from my learned colleagues on this one, in a discrete but painfully embarrassing (for me anyways) manner.
….and no, this is not anything serious, just cause-n-effect mitigation!
