Confidence
As with all things relating to me, this is another aspect of my personality that is not straight forward or easy to button down. “Confidence” I find is a corporeal thing which pops up in the strangest places, and at other times buggars off when you need it most.
In work related items I am extremely confident; I know what I know, and I know them very well. I have the confidence and conviction in my skillsets to deal with the majority of issues that are thrown towards me, and more importantly the confidence to hold my hand up to those things I don’t know and ask for help from my colleagues.
However in other areas of life I find myself pausing, that corporealness doing the “buggaring off” I mentioned earlier. This is probably not unique to myself, but is a constant source of “sadness” and frustration.
There are few things going on where I need that confidence, but where I find myself doing that “pause”. As ever other factors come into play, nothing’s ever *THAT* easy, and a huge amount of uncertainty as to how the other partie(s) will react. So life is, currently, in that “paused” state and the status quo prevails – even if unhappily for me.
However, as mentioned in previous posts, this is something that I have long lived with and have built up an extremely thick skin for the things that life has thrown at me, and an oblique view on life. This obliqueness has given me a certain “kismet” attitude, which allows me to go “OK, if this is as good as I can have – then I will live with that and be satisfied with it”.
Probably not an entirely healthy attitude… or is it?
September 8th, 2008 at 12:06
Hi andy! chin up ol’ mate this is not something “unique to you” as you think. we all feel this for different things. nice read
September 8th, 2008 at 12:33
Definitely one of your sadder posts, and as Bill has said “not unique to you”
September 8th, 2008 at 12:52
Confidence is very corporeal and i think not everybodys has it as much as they make out sometime.
I know i have had similar feelings as you with live. Your post is very melancholy and i hope you feel better soon.
être heureux
September 8th, 2008 at 13:37
Sad read.
I am not sure what the answer is to your question at the end either.
September 8th, 2008 at 14:57
I notice you provide no details, is that to protect the guilty?
I suppose it depends on the situation that drives how sad a person feels when their confidences flee’s them.
Things un-said between two people, for fear of the answer, is the worst I find and definitely unhealthy in my opinion.
Fear of not airing items at work, or in other aspects of your personal life; less so, but can be as corrosive the longer they aren’t aired.
Hope you find some answers soon!
Luv from New York,
Sarah
September 17th, 2008 at 10:08
I take guidance from children,when faced with human interaction you listen, then -
If you like it you smile
If it’s funny you laugh
If you don’t understand you walk off looking confused
If you don’t like it you put your hands on your hips, shout no, then optionally throw a novalty Thomas the Tank item at the person you are talking to
Confidence in actual fact is honesty and faith in your reactions to a given situation. Our learned behaviour in adult life teaches us to doubt our reactions and the honest display of them….let em ave both barrels! As is so evident with children most people only care about themselves and spend their time watching their own back, I’m never afraid to do the same these days……or did I miss the point :-~
September 17th, 2008 at 10:35
Nope, point extremely well made